EMDR Therapy and Trauma Recovery: Finding Hope in the Season of Change

Last week, a college sophomore told me something that's stuck with me. We were 3 sessions into EMDR therapy, and she said, "I didn't realize how much space the anxiety was taking up in my brain until it wasn't there anymore."She'd been carrying around this memory of being humiliated by a teacher in front of her entire high school class. Sounds small, right? But for two years, every time she had to speak up in a college lecture or participate in a group project, her body would go into panic mode.And here's the thing: she thought this was just how life was going to be now.

What Nobody Tells You About Trauma

Trauma doesn't always look like what you see in movies. It's not always flashbacks and nightmares (though it definitely can be). Sometimes it's the breakup that left you unable to trust anyone. Sometimes it's growing up with a parent who was emotionally cold or unpredictable. Sometimes it can involve anything from a car accident, sexual assault, physical abuse, witnessing violence, losing someone, and war. Trauma is a complex subject. Here's what matters: if your brain and body are still reacting to something that happened in the past, that's trauma. It does not matter if someone else would "get over it" or if you think you're being dramatic. Your nervous system gets to decide what was overwhelming, not anyone else.Trauma gets stored in your body in ways that talk therapy alone sometimes can't reach. Your brain essentially gets stuck in a moment, replaying it over and over, keeping you in survival mode even when the actual threat is long gone.I see this constantly with the teens and young adults I work with. The aftermath of being bullied online. A toxic friendship that ended badly. From arents divorcing to academic pressure that beomes unbearable, I have seen it all. Sometimes it's one big event. Sometimes it's a thousand smaller moments that accumulate until your nervous system is just... exhausted.

So What Actually Is EMDR & Can It Help Me?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.Here's what it actually looks like: We identify the traumatic memory that's causing problems in your present life. Then, while you're thinking about that memory, you follow my hand moving back and forth (or we use tapping, or audio tones...whatever works for you). Your eyes move side to side, which activates both hemispheres of your brain.And eventually, your brain starts processing that stuck memory. It's like we're helping your brain do what it was supposed to do naturally but couldn't because the trauma was too overwhelming.

Why Fall Makes Trauma Feel Heavier

There's something about seasonal transitions that brings stuff up. Maybe it's because the trauma happened in fall. Or maybe it's just that change of any kind can feel threatening when your nervous system is already on high alert.I've noticed often that parents reach out because their kid went back to school and suddenly the anxiety or depression or nightmares got worse. Young adults who were managing okay all summer suddenly feel like they're falling apart.It's not a coincidence and I know transitions are hard When you're carrying unprocessed trauma, transitions can feel impossible.

What EMDR Can Actually Help WithE

EMDR is neurobiological processing that requires work and courage and often feels uncomfortable before it feels better. You must be ready for it.

I've watched it help with everything from "small" trauma (the stuff people minimize but that still affects you every day) to "big" trauma (the events that clearly changed everything).Things like:Social anxiety rooted in past embarrassment or rejectionPerfectionism driven by fear of criticismRelationship issues stemming from past betrayals or family dynamicsPerformance anxiety (tests, sports, public speaking)Panic attacks that seem to come out of nowhereThat feeling of being "stuck" or numb. Grief that feels impossible to process intrusive thoughts or images you can't seem to controlWhether your trauma feels big or small to you doesn't matter. If it's affecting how you show up in your life right now, it deserves attention.

The Messy Truth: What EMDR Is Really Like

EMDR isn't comfortable. Some sessions you'll leave feeling lighter. Others, you'll feel exhausted or emotional or maybe nothing at all. That's normal. Your brain is doing deep work, even when you can't feel it happening. Often, clients want to want to quit right before it gets better. That's just how it works. The moment when you think "this isn't working" is usually right before something shifts and becomes better! The college student I mentioned at the beginning? By session five, she raised her hand in her biology lecture. Sounds small. But for her, it was everything. Her brain had processed that classroom humiliation enough that it stopped screaming "DANGER" every time she thought about speaking up. Her mom cried when she called to tell me.

For Parents Wondering If This Could Help Your Kid

If your teen or young adult is stuck and they've tried regular talk therapy and it's not enough, EMDR might be worth exploring. The most important part is EMDR requires readiness. Your child or yourself needs to be stable enough to process difficult material. If they're in active crisis, we do stabilization work first. That's not failure, that's meeting them where they are. Remember, you might not be able to articulate what's happening in EMDR sessions, and that's okay. Sometimes the processing happens on a level you cannot put words to while its occurring. Trust the process even when you can't see immediate results.

You Don't Have To Stay Stuck

I was once a teen in need of help. I know what it feels like to think you've tried everything. To wonder if this is just how life is going to be. Here's what I've learned from hundreds of clients and from my own journey: your nervous system can heal. Your brain can process what it couldn't process before. You can move from surviving to actually living.Healing is possible. Not easy. Not quick. But possible.

I offer EMDR therapy to teens (ages 13-24) and young adults in New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, and Connecticut through secure virtual sessions. If you're wondering if EMDR might help, let's talk. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation or email me at support@healingheartshealthyminds.com.

Denise Takakjy, PhD, LPC-PA, LPC-NJ, LPCMH-DE, NCC, C-DBT, CATP, BSL