EMDR Featured on Secret Lives of Mormon Wives: Does It Really Work? What MomTok’s Mikayla Taught Us About Trauma Therapy

If you’ve been following The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, you probably caught Mikayla Matthews brave decision to try EMDR therapy on camera. As someone who works with young adults dealing with trauma, I wanted to talk about what her experience can teach us about this type of therapy and why it might be worth considering if you’ve been in a rut or stuck on a loop from unprocessed memories.

Why Did Mikayla Decide to Try EMDR?

Mikayla had been going to regular therapy and felt like she’d made progress with some aspects of her past sexual abuse. But there was one area where she felt completely stuck: intimacy. Despite all the work she’d been doing, her trauma was still affecting her marriage.

She then decided to give EMDR a shot. She explained that EMDR brings up trauma layer by layer, and she’d heard it was particularly effective for sexual abuse survivors. I see this all the time in sessions, people realizing that what worked for one part of their healing doesn’t touch another part.

What Happened in Her First Session of EMDR?

When Mikayla walked into that EMDR session, ready to explore a new option, she understood that the therapy involves following your therapist’s fingers with your eyes while they move them side to side, all while you’re processing traumatic memories.

During her session, Mikayla opened up about the guilt she carried. Growing up in an environment where sex was never talked about, where she was taught it wasn’t okay, and then being put in situations at such a young age where she didn’t know what was happening. That confusion on top of the trauma makes everything harder to work through.

One moment that stood out to me: she talked about trying to speak up before and being shut down. She admitted there was still so much her husband Jace didn’t know because it was too hard to talk about. The fear of not being believed was still sitting there.

The Part Nobody Talks About

Mikayla’s honesty about the messy feelings that came up really struck me. She talked about feeling protective of her abuser, someone close to the family. She knew what happened was wrong, but she still felt guilty about bringing it up because she didn’t want to ruin their lives or family relationships.

I see this all the time in sessions. Survivors feeling loyalty toward the person who hurt them. It’s confusing and it doesn’t make sense logically, but that’s trauma. You can intellectually understand abuse happened while simultaneously feeling protective. EMDR helps you work through those contradictions without having to logic your way out first.

Later, Mikayla shared that she’d been experiencing anger. That anger is actually a sign the therapy was working, helping her access emotions that had been buried.

So - Did EMDR “Fix” Everything?

Not yet! After her EMDR sessions, Mikayla and Jace went to couples therapy together. In one of those sessions, she finally told Jace about the abuse that happened when she was six years old. He’d only known about what happened when she was older. She also revealed who her abuser was.

She described feeling both scared and relieved. She didn’t think it was going to be one and done, but telling Jace felt like a huge step forward. Real healing looks like this, slow and sometimes painful progress.

By the end of the season, Mikayla was continuing both EMDR and couples therapy. She talked about the pressure and guilt around her marriage and sex life, acknowledging she had broken pieces she hadn’t fixed yet. Growing up in the church meant always chasing this idea of being the perfect wife. That type of pressure doesn’t disappear after a few therapy sessions.

What You Should Know If You’re Thinking About Trying EMDR

EMDR works differently than talk therapy. You’re actively reprocessing trauma, not just discussing it. That can bring up intense emotions. Some people feel worse before they feel better, which is scary if you’re not expecting it.

Mikayla had been in therapy before and made progress in some areas. EMDR gave her a tool to tackle what she couldn’t access before. If regular therapy is talking through a problem, EMDR reorganizes how a traumatic memory is stored in your brain.

Her journey shows you can make progress and still struggle. Support matters. Whether that’s a partner, family member, or close friend, healing happens better when you’re not isolated. You don’t have to share everything with everyone, but having one person in your corner helps.

Does EMDR Research Back This Up?

Therapy can feel like a gamble, especially if you’ve tried things that didn’t work. But EMDR has been studied extensively. Research shows it works well for trauma, particularly PTSD. Some studies found that many single trauma victims no longer met PTSD criteria after six to twelve sessions.

It’s well researched for sexual abuse and childhood trauma, exactly what Mikayla dealt with. The therapy helps your brain reprocess traumatic memories that got stuck. Your brain wants to heal but couldn’t figure out how on its own. EMDR facilitates that process.

There is no one size therapy that fits all  as each person is their own individual.. But the success rates of EMDR make it worth considering if you’ve been stuck.

What This Means for Young Adults Dealing with Trauma

Watching Mikayla’s story unfold, I’ve had many young adult clients bring it up in sessions. They see themselves in her struggle with intimacy after sexual abuse, in that protective feeling toward their abuser, in the guilt that won’t go away even when they know logically it wasn’t their fault.

The truth is, so many people are dealing with these exact same issues. Sexual trauma, childhood abuse, complicated family dynamics where speaking up feels impossible. You’re trying to build relationships, figure out intimacy, move forward with your life, but the past keeps showing up in ways that feel out of your control.

At Hearts Healthy Minds, I work specifically with young adults navigating trauma recovery. A lot of my clients come in feeling stuck, just like Mikayla described. Some have tried regular talk therapy and made some progress, but there are parts they can’t seem to get past. That’s often where EMDR comes in.

EMDR for sexual abuse and childhood trauma can be life changing when you’re ready for it. It’s not a magic fix, and it brings up hard stuff, but I’ve watched clients finally feel like they can breathe after carrying shame and fear for years. The key is finding a therapist who specializes in trauma and understands the specific challenges young adults face.

If Mikayla’s story resonates and you’re in one of the states we service, reach out! Whether it’s EMDR virtual therapy, traditional therapy, or figuring out what combination works for you, your healing is worth it. I know it’s scary and you might not feel ready, but sometimes we start before we feel ready.

At Healing Hearts Healthy Minds, I specialize in trauma informed care for young adults via online virtual therapy and counseling. If you’re ready to take the next step in your healing journey, we’re here to support you.